Prepare to roll your eyes in disbelief. The remake of Akira Kurosawa's venerated classic The Seven Samurai has been completed. But it's not the one planned by The Weinstein Co. And it's scored to The Rolling Stones?!!

Let's clarify: Don Brown at ryugangi says that Hiroyuki Nakano, director of the excessively stylish Samurai Fiction and Red Shadow, has been busy creating a new version of Samurai for a pachinko machine. (Yes, you read that right.) The official site features a half-dozen clips. The ones I've watched look surprisingly good and faithful to the spirit of the original -- except, er, for Mick Jagger singing "Paint It Black," "Jumping Jack Flash," and "Satisfaction."

How could this happen? Kurosawa's son Hisao has reportedly irked many by licensing his father's films and image for everything from remakes to a canned coffee commercial. Seven Samurai itself was made into a video game in 2004 (Seven Samurai 20XX) that was recently named one of the worst movie games ever by Wired.com. The same Japanese company that produced the video game (Sammy) also makes pachinko games, so I suppose this was inevitable.

Initially, I thought the article was either a bad joke or a slam at Nakano's directing style. Surely this was an advance peek at the Weinsteins' remake. But that project won't start shooting until later this year and the cast will feature American, European and Asian stars (per Variety), not just the Japanese actors pictured. My eyes are still rolling.

OK, so I missed my flight to San Diego this morning and I've had a really rotten day, but there's always a small silver lining, right? In the movie world there is: JUST announced (like, within the last few minutes!) is the Toronto Film Festival's Midnight Madness '08 line-up. And, as usual, it looks pretty damn awesome.

I've heard some really good things about Pascal Laugier's Martyrs, Franck Vestiel's Eden Log, and Jon Hewitt's Acolytes -- plus I've been itchin' to see JT Petty's horror-western The Burrowers for over a year now! Other selections include Pracha Pinkaew's Chocolate, Toshio Lee's Detroit Metal City, and Mark Hartley's Not Quite Hollywood. Click right here for all ten of TIFF's Midnight picks --and of course you can expect all sorts of expansive festival coverage once TIFF rolls out in early September. Woo!

(Note: Rocchi got all excited about JCVD being chosen as one of the Midnight selections, which is a title I neglected to mention the first time around. Ditto Sexykiller and Deadgirl.)

( Also announced today: Toronto's Wavelengths and Sprockets Family Zone selections. )

It was a bummer to learn that Franka Potente was backing out of Pope Joan back in May, but it looks like she's found herself another weighty gig to add to her plate. Variety reports that she has signed on to star in a new German drama called Flucht aus Tibet, otherwise known as Escape from Tibet. The film, which is based on a true story, will be the big-screen debut for writer and director Maria Blumencron.

Heading out of Che Guevara territory, Potente is moving over to Tibet to play Judy Cronenberg. The woman was a press photographer who led "a group of refugee Tibetan children over the Himalayas to safety nine years ago." There's nothing more being said about the story, which seems to be surprisingly free from the Internet (anyone know the details?), but it is a big German project. The film has received FFF Bayern's largest film funding -- $1.1 million.

It should be a little bit of time before we get to see Tibet, but in the meantime, of course, we can watch her play Tania in Steven Soderbergh's The Argentine and Guerilla.

Three intriguing titles top my list of indie films to check out this week on DVD. Coincidentally, two of them feature actors who also directed (or directors who also acted).

Taiwanese film Help Me Eros, directed by and starring Lee Kang-Sheng, became slightly notorious at the Toronto film festival because droves of otherwise hardy film critics walked out of a press screening, either out of boredom or disgust. Ryan Stewart stayed, even though the first scene made him consider vomiting and the film as a whole was an unpleasant experience. Any film that provokes that strong a reaction, of course, makes it a perfect choice for adventurous renters who don't mind gambling a few dollars on the possibility that they'll never finish watching the movie. (The plot doesn't really matter in this case, does it?) DVD extras are limited to various trailers.

The English-language Big Dreams, Little Tokyo, directed by and starring Dave Boyle, is a culture clash comedy. Boyle plays a man who wants to become a language instruction guru, while his Japanese American roommate (Jason Watabe) wants to become a Sumo wrestler despite his slight build. KJ Doughton at Film Threat gave it a four-star rating ("a fresh filmic entree"). DVD extras include an audio commentary, behind the scenes interviews and "making of" footage, deleted scenes, web spots, and more.

French flick Heartbeat Detector (AKA La Question Humaine), directed by Nicolas Klotz, arrives with little fanfare that I can recall, though it did enjoy a brief, limited theatrical run earlier this year, and Scott Foundas admired "its epic sense of humanity" in the pages of The Village Voice. Mathieu Amalric (The Diving Bell and the Butterfly) plays a company psychiatrist with odd methods of motivating the corporate troops. DVD extras appear to be non-existent.

While The Dark Knight dominated the weekend box office here in the US -- with a little love spared for Mamma Mia! and Transsiberian -- in Asia things looked a little different. The Good, the Bad, the Weird , which was just picked up by IFC for the US, opened in its native South Korea to outstanding returns, according to Variety.

The film, a salute to Spaghetti Westerns with a modern twist, is expected to surpass 2.2 million admissions over the weekend, which would make it the fastest to hit that mark this year, beating out police comedy Public Enemy Returns. Its opening day returns put it in the company of previous monster smashes D-War and The Host. We should hear more about The Good, the Bad, the Weird when it plays at Toronto in September.

The news is not as good in Japan, where master filmmaker Hayao Miyazaki's latest animated achievement, Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea, was expected to dominate. Opening on a record number of screens for a local picture (481), Ponyo is said by its distributor to have earned 83% of the total made by Miyazaki's blockbuster Spirited Away, which sounds good. But as reported by Mark Schilling in Variety, those numbers may be misleading.

As always, we seek to highlight indie films with this weekly post, so let's pause a moment and celebrate the success of a good, old-fashioned railroad movie. Brad Anderson's Transsiberian opened on two screens and earned a very tidy $17,600 at each, according to estimates compiled by Box Office Mojo. That has to be considered a triumph in the face of "The Bat Effect." Perhaps Transsiberian will get to a few more cities before its eventual landing on DVD shelves.

In a very welcome upturn of events, French thriller Tell No One expanded from 19 to 55 screens in its third week of release and averaged $9,725 per screen. More people will have a chance to catch this word-of-mouth success when it expands again this coming Friday.

Also in its third week out, The Wackness expanded by three theaters and kept a decent $4,441 per-screen average. It finally opened where I live and, while I loved Olivia Thirlby more than I should and was convinced that Jonathan Levine has good instincts as a filmmaker, I'm amazed it's done as well as it has, considering how drab so much of it feels. But that's just my minority opinion. I would still encourage you -- especially you 90s kids -- to consider checking it out when it expands wider this Friday.

Finally, Lou Reed's Berlin earned a per-screen average of $3,825 at the two theaters where it opened. Must be more Lou Reed fans out there than I thought.

In a perfect cinematic world, you'd be able to watch every movie you wanted to watch as soon as it was released on a big screen with good sound and projection and an appreciative audience. In the real world, we're always making compromises: my friends don't want to see what I want to see tonight, that new indie movie is only playing in New York and may never play in my town, the woman sitting next to me in the theater keeps talking to her friends.

Mad Detective opened on Friday, but as noted by Eric D. Snider in his latest Indie Spotlight, only in New York. I have no idea if it will ever play in Dallas, where I live, but based on recent history, chances are, it won't. I'm a huge fan of Hong Kong filmmakers Johnny To and Wai Ka Fai, who co-directed, and Lau Ching Wan, a great, underappreciated actor (Beyond Hypothermia, Big Bullet, A Hero Never Dies), but I've been reluctant to spring for the import DVD, which would set me back nearly 20 bucks. (The trailer's available to watch at Moviefone.)

So I compromised and spent $5.99 to watch Mad Detective via the "IFC in Theaters" video on demand (VOD) service on my cable system. That's comparable to a matinee showing at a local arthouse -- I paid $6.75 to see The Wackness on Saturday afternoon -- but the experience is, obviously, not the same. For one thing, "IFC in Theaters" is only available in standard definition, so the picture looks only so-so, even on my 26-inch high-def monitor.

I'll admit it: Most of the indie / foreign horror films that I see at film festivals and then recommend like crazy ... are not exactly "mainstream" titles. My apologies if you watched Inside, Teeth, or Frontier(s) with your mom -- although she'd probably like The Signal. Heck, even my preferences in studio horror fare tend to run towards the bleak, and hats off to The Mist, The Ruins and The Strangers for keeping me on my toes.

So what's my point? There's one particular indie that is absolutely NOT a gorehounds-only affair. I actually expect quite a (relatively) mainstream groundswell of support once Gregg Bishop's Dance of the Dead hits DVD -- and according to good ol' Bloody-Dee, that DVD will arrive on October 14. Yes, the movie is about a prom that's been overrun by zombies, leaving only the dateless outcasts to save the day, and sure, it's got some gore, some salty language, and some playful sexiness -- but dang if the Dance of the Dead doesn't feel like something Spielberg might have done as a newcomer. (And actually liked horror movies.) It's quick and colorful and jaunty and amusing -- and I think that's the first time I've ever used the word "jaunty" in any capacity. Anyway, toss a red circle around this title. It's not just for the horror fans. (No less than eight Cinematical staffers saw and really enjoyed it.)

And hey, get this! Lionsgate is absolutely GUSHING horror flicks on October 14! Not only the Dance will hit DVD on that date, but seven more titles as well: Brotherhood of Blood, Dark Floors, The Last House in the Woods, No Man's Land: The Rise of the Reeker (cool!), Room 205, The Substitute, and something Russian called Trackman (that looks pretty wild). Now that sounds like a Halloween party!

At the rate Brazilian filmmaker José Padilha (Tropa de Elite) is becoming attached to projects, I might need to start another annex called Cinematical Padilha. Earlier this week, I posted info about his latest documentary, Garapa, and prior to that I had written about his transfer to Hollywood for a South America-set action movie formerly (and maybe again?) called A Willing Patriot. Of course, I don't mind writing so much about the guy; Padilha is one of the most exciting new talents, and it's cool to see his career exploding.

Today's Padilha news is that he'll be writing and directing the based-on-a-true-story drama Marching Powder. Again, this one's set in South America (good to see a foreign filmmaker making such a gradual move to Hollywood), and if it sounds familiar, that's because we've seen Don Cheadle linked to it for awhile. The Oscar-nominated actor will reportedly still produce (along with Brad Pitt and others) and star as a British drug dealer serving time in a Bolivian prison, of which he eventually gives illegal tours to travelers (he became popular enough to be featured in Lonely Planet guides).

The movie will be based on the book "Marching Powder: A True Story of Friendship, Cocaine and South America's Strangest Jail" by Thomas McFadden (the British drug dealer) and Rusty Young, who apparently found the story by signing on for one of the prison tours.

Watching Jacques Nolot's Before I Forget, I couldn't help thinking of my friend Arthur Lazere, the late film critic and creator of the still-operational site culturevulture.net, ("Choices for the Cognoscenti"). Arthur was gay and in his 60s when he succumbed to a long illness in 2006; he loved movies but he rarely found one that pleased him, or rather spoke to him in particular. The Barbarian Invasions (2003) was one of his favorites, I remember, and I enjoyed talking to -- and arguing with -- him about it and many other films. I wish I could have talked with him about Before I Forget, a film about a HIV+ gay man nearing his 60s. I admired the film all on my own, but Arthur would have got it.

That's actually one of the best things about Before I Forget, which was selected as one of last year's ten best films by Cahiers du Cinema; it's the uncompromising work of an artist making a film for himself, rather than targeting a demographic. Jacques Nolot mainly works as an actor, with roles in films like Claire Denis' Nenette & Boni (1996), Francois Ozon's Under the Sand (2001) and many André Téchiné films, including The Witnesses from earlier this year. He has written and directed three feature films, all starring himself: L'Arrière pays (1998), Porn Theater (2002) and this one. The three films are certainly homosexual and appear to be at least partly autobiographical, and even if they're not, Nolot still opens himself up totally: in an early sequence, his character Pierre wakes up, throws up, pops some pills makes some coffee and walks around his apartment, naked. His thinning hair and thin moustache are perfectly placed, but his sagging belly shows a losing battle with age.